Day 5 of bed rest

Things just became interesting, to say the least, this past week. After waking to what felt and looked like a murder scene, rushing to two emergency rooms, having many needles and such poking me, and finally hearing a heartbeat, I can say we survived to say the least. The doctor has placed me on bed rest until at least the end of January if not longer. You would think that I would enjoy being at home in my pj's all day. Which I would if I could also clean the house and act as a wife. Right now my wonderful husband is, husband, wife, daddy-to-be, and worker. It's really hard sitting knowing that there are a million things to do.
I appreciate Lisa Epsteen for setting up meals for us, even though there's only two of us, it helps so much for Keith to not have to come home and cook too.
Other than struggling with not being able to do things around the house. I struggle with being away from Kiddie Kollege. I can honestly say that I never knew I would miss it like I do. I just think about the cries, laughs, hugs, talking about whats in my belly, the wonderful support of my staff. Lets just say that I will so be ready to go back to work:).
I am praying that bed rest will become easier however, not sure that it will, maybe even harder.

The great thing about today is that we have made it to week 24 of the pregnancy! If peanut was born today she would have a chance of survival. We have many milestones to work towards. The next milestone is week 28, this is the same week that our next dr. appt. If we make it there then our next goal will be week 32. Another goal that we have is that we are trying to stay out of the hospital as long as possible.

Through all of this, I keep reminding myself that in a few months this is going to be worth it all. So right now I am enjoying every little kick and punch while sitting in my chair with pillows, heating pad, blanket, computer, remote, and phone.

Our little girl will be with us very soon...she will be/ is our miracle.

Our precious baby girl

About a week ago we were able to see our unborn little girl. She was kicking, punching, squirming, sucking her thumb, you name it she was doing it. It just amazed me how much she was moving and yet I couldn't feel every kick and punch. Seeing her makes.....the aches, pains, minutes of finding a comfortable position, the oversized bump that is turning my walks into waddles...all worth it.

The doctor has shared with us that I have complete placenta previa. Meaning that the baby is perfectly healthy and growing right on schedule, however the placenta is in the way of delivery. At this time we are looking at delivery via c-section a week early. Most likely will be out of work a month before her arrival. Just glad to hear that she is growing as planned:)

After seeing her move all around she has her daddy wrapped around her little pinky. He is waiting so patiently to feel her move, but she is just not ready for that yet. Doesn't she know this is the only time that it is okay to kick her daddy? Hoping that this will happen in a few weeks:)

We will be at 22 weeks this week, seems pretty amazing that we are at this point. Realizing that we are over half way with the pregnancy puts a little anxiety in us. Like what crib is perfect, what house will fit our family, what name should our little one have that will say so much, are we ready for her? We want everything to be perfect for our little blessing as she enters this world.

So for the next 4.5 months we will prepare for her arrival in so many ways. Can't wait to have her little fingers wrap around mine. It is going to be pure bliss. Thank you Lord for a healthy little girl!

Music Want List

So I have been thinking lately about CD's that I would really enjoy listening to as well as owning. Here is the start to the list (No particular order):


Mariah Carey, albums:
Greatest Hits
Christmas Music
#1's
Mariah Carey

Jeremy Camp, albums:
Carried Me: The Worship Project Song
Beyond Measure
Stay

David Crowder Band, album:
Church Music

Jewel, album:
Pieces of you

Whitney Houston, albums:
Whitney (We had this on record when I was a little girl:))
The Greatest Hits

Taylor Swift, album:
Taylor Swift

Hillsong, album:
United We Stand

There are many memories that you put with songs. For example, I remember listening to Whitney Houston as a little girl with my sister in her room; Jewel during Halloween one year; Hillsong: Inside Out was sung at Celebrate Life 09 and God really spoke to me.

Our little peanut

Keith didn't blog it so I have to:) It has just been an amazing 24 hours. Last Tuesday of course we found out that we were pregnant, but that was not good enough for Keith, so we tested again on Wednesday:). With all the scare of the last m/c we have been on guard this time. Yesterday they scheduled us to go in and find a heartbeat. (Side note this is the same lady that did the u/s the last time.) So we got in the room with the lady and she was going over how it would all work, etc. So when she began to do the ultrasound we thought she said there was no heartbeat. But she was so happy for us that she said it too fast. She said there is a heartbeat, as we looked up on the screen and saw this little thing just pounding, a since of relief came on me. But then she turned on the sound and we were able to hear it and everything, "babump babump"! What a sweet sweet sound. Keith was so excited that he got his iPhone (funny thing I did spell check and it corrected iPhone, oh technology:)) out and took a picture. She said that most likely the heart just started beating within the last 48 hours. The baby/embryo looks like a peanut:) that is how the tech kept referring to it. The total length I believe is .44cm, big baby huh?:).

I just can't explain the joys of hearing the heartbeat.

Oh for those of you who wonder what the sex is......there is a 50% chance it is a girl!:)

Can't wait to meet this baby on 4.14.10!

Failure again and again.......

If you are reading this....please forgive me from the beginning. It might be hard to understand the things that come from my heart. This is not proof read nor sensored, it is just my raw self.
Here is some hard truth that I had to face this week. Another month of failure has come my way. With every month it becomes a little, no a lot harder to stay positive. I know that stress does not help in this category at all, which could be my problem. But after trying and trying and getting nothing but failure in the end it seems impossible.
I am not even sure if I know where to go from here or who. It seems like playing by the book and doing everything right doesn't work, so what will? I am becoming desperate for a satisfaction that I am not sure I will be given. Maybe it is not God's will for me and that is hard to chew on. Maybe it is just not my time. Not really sure what it is other than failure. You know your whole life you have plans and dreams for yourself just assuming that they will be done. But this one is out of my hands, I don't know how I feel about that. I want complete control and God is not giving that to me.
This month I was ready to face the music of a negative, but then things seemed promising, and now I face the hard truth of it's just not happening.
It is interesting how much in the closet you feel you need to be with things. But I feel like it is all me and that I am facing it alone. Fighting back the tears and frustration. Am I going through the motions alone? I feel that way a lot of times.
So I will sit here and face another month of questioning and wondering if God will bless me.
Maybe next month will be my month, or maybe it will becoming more of an issue and another step of life I don't want to face. Who knows what is in my near future.
I just know that it is getting harder and harder......doubt is high in this heart of mine......bitterness is swallowing me like a weed swallows a plant.....I am crying out, no screaming out for satisfaction. I will leave here with another mask on my face/heart and deal with the truth.Maybe I am just asking for the impossible right now........

Goals for the next 20 years of my life

I have really been thinking this week about what goals I have set for myself or have failed to set for myself. So in realizing that I have not truly sat down and written them out I am now. Here's my top 10- no certain order.

1.) Have our first child- within a year
2.) Have Kiddie Kollege enrollment to 80- within a year
3.) Have half of Kiddie Kollege church students- within 5 years
4.) Have a place to call "home"- within a year
5.) Go on a cruise with the hubby- within a two years
6.) Go to a foreign country- with in 20 years.
7.) Have a one pay check in savings- 1 year
8.) Buy a new car- 5 years
9.)Working on second child- 4 years
10.) become a stay at home- reasonably 4 years (would love sooner)

Those are just some of my goals that I want to accomplish in the next 20 years.

Blink of an eye

It is interesting how one day you can be on top of the world and the next day there is nothing greater than death. No I do not totally understand it. I wish that I could so that I could lend a helping hand. All that I can do is pray for the one who holds a special place in my heart and they don't even know it.


So confused and helpless.

Spirit Song!

Pretty amazing stuff happened this weekend. First off we took the teens to an amazing place called Kings Island!!!!:)
On Thursday we were up at 4:00a.m. and left for Norwood church at 6. We were able to do a little mission work for the church before heading to KI for an afternoon of concerts and walking.
On Friday we ran with Ice cream in the pouring rain. Was able to ride the invertigo and flight of fear.
On Saturday I worked the nerve to ride the diamondback, it is KI's tallest, longest, fastest, and meanest coaster with a lap bar to hold you in. I am pretty sure I lost all color that I had, my legs were shaking so bad I thought I was going to loose my flip flops, and I screamed the whole way begging to get off, by the time the ride ended it took all I had to hold back the tears.
There were many, but one great thing about Saturday was that Jeremy Camp was at Spirit Song. He used this story to share his analogy. Him and his little girl always stretch their arms out and say I love you this much. One day he sat there watching her eat ice cream and he said I love you this much. She was so into her ice cream that she only held out one arm and said I love you this much. He shared this: Isn't this how we treat God? God has arms stretched as far as possible saying Child I love you this much. We confess that we love him with our arms stretched far this much, but really we are so into friends, video games, and other idols/Sins that we have only one arm stretched out. That one hit home with me.
On Sunday we went to church at Norwood church of the Nazarene. We were able to worship with the congregation while hearing a sermon of God holding the key. After church we all changed and then headed for some skyline chili.
In all the trip was pretty amazing! The girls I chaperoned were well behaved having fun all the way. Looking so forward to next year. Right now I feel like I need a week to catch up on some needed sleep. VBS starts tonight, I will be at the dock with the croc and kids. It's going to be great!

From the Inside out

Lately I have really thought about my faith and where I stand as a Christian. The past few months I have found myself so angry and bitter with God and people. My own insecurities has caused my trust levels to go to zero. I have just been lost for the way that I feel inside. So many times I am on cloud nine, living life as it is. However, there are those times when I don't know who I am. I become so unsure of myself, abilites, and attributes. Where do I go next in my life. I have found that the quiet times of my life are the worse. I can't handle a quiet car ride, shower, or house at night. my mind takes me to places that it should never go. Fears become so great and unbearable, that I find myself fighting off those who love me the most.
As I have been in this doubting stage of my life I have searched for songs that express how I feel. 1st song, very common, I surrendar All (however I fail at this, because I just pick it up after laying it at the alter). So I have chosen this song to be my prayer.

Hillsong- From the Inside Out. http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=inside+out+lyrics&docid=817241063500&FORM=VIRE4

A thousand times I've failed, Still your mercy remains, And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace, Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame, my heart and my soul, Lord I give
you control, Consume me from the inside out Lord, Let justice and praise become
my embrace, To love You from the inside out, Your will above all else, my purpose
remains, The art of losing myself in bringing you praise, Everlasting, Your light will
shine when all else fades, Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame, In my heart,
in my soul, Lord I give you control, Consume me from the inside out Lord, Let justice
and praise become my embrace, To love You from the inside out
Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades, Never ending, Your glory goes
beyond all fame, And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise, From the inside out
Lord, my soul cries out.

Amazing song, that has helped me to realize that I just need to let him began working from the inside out and cure me of this "disease"

Addicted to Facebook

Okay so here is my confession of the week. I am addicted to Facebook. I guess that it could be considered a good thing although, I don't know how any addiction is good other than to Jesus.

Some people tweet what they are doing, I refuse to join that group. I prefer to update my status on Facebook. In the past few months my mom and oldest sister joined facebook. Since they have joined I have felt like we are connected. It has been hard living in a different state or city than them and still try to stay connected. Everyone knows that I am not a talker on the phone, I would rather have the phone for texting, talking to my husband when he is away, and for emergency.

I love emailing my mom to see how she is doing. My sister and I have like now time to talk or email. Which brings me to facebook. Facebook you don't have to write these great long stories and convos. Rather it becomes a bunch of continual small conversations that could go on for days.

Here is what our conversation was lastnight:

Kimber Deckard Thanks Julie, Sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite and Sleep snug as a bug in a rug were what dad would say when getting off the phone with me in High School, I miss that. Night All.
10:01pm
Julie Perry at 10:06pm June 4
:) Love ya and miss ya very much!
Tina Shampine Thompson at 10:09pm June 4
good night jim bob, good night mary ellen....
Julie Perry at 10:14pm June 4
What in the world! :)
Tina Shampine Thompson at 10:18pm June 4
don't you remember the waltons.. at the end when they all went to bed every night that is what you would hear.. good night jim bob, good night mary ellen..lol you and kimber were beginning to sound like jim bob and mary ellen lol
Julie Perry at 10:27pm June 4
Okay, now it makes since, but I don't remember the Waltons:) Maybe that was before my time!lol
Kimber Deckard at 10:30pm June 4
Love and miss you both!!!
Julie Perry at 10:32pm June 4
Hey I thought I put you to bed!
Julie Perry at 10:33pm June 4
You are just like Zara! She has to get night kisses at least twice after I put her to bed!
Tina Shampine Thompson at 10:36pm June 4
that's a little sister for you always under foot somewhere but hey be glad she isn't trying to climb in your bed LOL
Julie Perry at 10:37pm June 4
True... very true! She just climbs into Kristin's bed:) Alexus kicks her out!
Tina Shampine Thompson at 10:43pm June 4
just like you used to do kimber and she would have to go climb in with gina that is probably why she started her sleep walking.. oh the memories....flopping around in the bathtub in the middle of the night and ringing the door bell at 2 am because she managed to get outside but couldn't figure out how to get back in...tell lexi to go easy on her so she doesn't pick up aunt kimmys bad habits lol
Julie Perry at 10:45pm June 4
Alexus isn't too sympathic to Zara's needs!
Kimber Deckard at 9:18am June 5
Now I know who to blame for all my corks:) jkjk...I hit the bed and that was all she wrote:)

I know that it is not a serious conversation, but I don't remember the last time that my mom and sister talked. I love my family, they are amazing. It has just been a joy connecting again. Love them....

In the mist of Craziness

This week was a wild and crazy week at the Kollege for me. Monday I had one teacher out; Tuesday I had two teachers out, leaving me with 18 students by myself; Wednesday teachers all present, chapel, preperation for muffins for moms and piano recital; Thursday one teacher out, muffin for moms, and piano recital 6:45a.m.- 8:30p.m. with about an hour break; Friday teacher out again, mother and daughter tea (teachers not prepared) causing me to try to cover 2 rooms.
Through the whole week I continued to think that things could not get worse. As the week went on it became even more crazy. Friday ended with stress and tears.
Here was my thought in it all; "Lord you are stretching me, I know you would not put on me more than I can handle."
I will have to say that it is so true, that even when I feel my head would explode God was there to calm and comfort me.

Here are the great things that have happened this week: I had to take time out to realize the innocence of each little one at the preschool. My husband still loves me even when he gets the heat of my stress (Thank you babe:)). Ashlyn Hochstetler has given me hope as I have heard and seen her great progress through video. Praise the Lord that she is home with her family. The recital was amazing, putting each child in the center of attention and seeing their reaction. Last but not least, spending time with our great friends Matt, Julie, and Caroline Wise.

Bitterness towards God

It finally hit me last Sunday in church...I am so bitter and angry towards God for what has been done. I have put on a mask for long enough. I couldn't figure out why when it was time to worship, I thought about this miscarriage and then the anger blew my cup over. But now it is all clear. I am so angry that we were chosen to go through this. There are people everyday that abort, kill, give up their babies; that is not who we are. I felt that we had a loving home, morals, and a relationship with Christ beyond (always needing growth).
After the physical pain left, I am now dealing with the emotional. I hate the way that I treat my husband by blowing up for no reason, I hate getting angry and crying or closing up. This has consumed me and made me someone who I am not.
I don't want to be bitter towards God, I don't want this to consume me, I don't want to envy those who are still with child. I do want the same feeling that I use to have when I stepped in the doors of church, a time that was well needed after a crazy week.
I need a renewing within my soul. I need peace that overflows. I need grace like rain.
As pastor Troy spoke of bitterness last Sunday it has laid heavy on my heart. I know I am bitter! Today I did a devotion with my teachers talking about things that take us through the valley. Here is the description of the writer, "It's like being stuck in the mud and not able to look at the giant in the face.
(I know I always turn to music for answers and comfort) But How Great Thou Art has been on my mind this week. I don't know why it has nothing to do with my feelings. I do know this; He is an amazing God and I just want him close to my heart again. I want the burden lifted so I can sing, HOW GREAT THOU ART!!!!!!

Please continue to pray for me that I will overcome this valley, get out of the mud and be free within my heart/soul again.

Life is back to normal

Wow, what a day. The anxiety of what would come out of the doctor's appointment, that I felt took over my day. After speaking to my OB/GYN, there was nothing that I could have done differently to protect the baby. She believes that it is a complete freak accident. The next time there will be more observation from week 6 until I am finished with my 1st trimester. The miscarriage is complete, however, after talking to her I think that she was surprised that I didn't go to the hospital with it to have a DNC. Anyways all is well and we will be able to try again in about 2 months. Thank you for all of your prayers

Blessed Be Your Name

So this week I have had both good and bad moments with the loss of the baby. It is weird that for 2 months that is all that I thought about, there was a new excitement in our lives. Quickly it is taken away with a blink of an eye. We have been so blessed to have all of our friends and brothers and sisters in Christ just praying for our recovery.

We are excited about getting started as soon as the doctor gives us the clear, after all we were both so psyched about this last baby. :) Tomorrow is the follow-up appointment with our doctor. I am assuming this will be a time for questions as well as a time to make sure the miscarriage was successful naturally.

I said all of that to get here. Saturday my mom surprised me from North Carolina. So her and I went to church yesterday. I was looking forward to this service all week and then when I woke up Sunday morning realizing once again this is going to be akward because she does not go to church. But as the service started I decided that I would not change my ways of praise to suit the situation. As we were singing, my mind was on this miscarriage and I realized this, that for the past week I have had this mask on that everything is okay and that there will be another chance. However as we sung Blessed Be Your Name, I realized how much hurt is inside and I don't totally understand why God choose to take our baby away. There are many people who have babies everyday and don't want theirs. Here we are trying and excited about being blessed and it is all stripped away.

Here are the lyrics:
Blessed be Your name In the land that is plentiful Where Your streams of abundance flow Blessed be Your name And blessed be Your name When I'm found in the desert place Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed be your name
CHORUS: Every blessing You pour out I'll Turn back to praise And when the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name When the sun's shining down on me When the world's "all as it should be" Blessed be You name And blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering Though there's pain in the offering Blessed be Your name
CHORUS
You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name I will bless Your name
CHORUS
Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name

We do know that this is a season and one day we will use this minister to someone. But right now it hurts. Where there were once three there are now two.

Through it all though help me Lord to remember: Blessed be the name of the Lord!

We lost one, He gained one...

So I don't know what to say or what to do at this point. If I lay here then I think about things I should not think about. The only thing that seems to keep my mind off of the rocky road is facebook, blogging, and emails. Today Keith and I received some rough news. We are loosing our 1st baby. Complications started on Monday; Tuesday we had an ultrasound showing the baby only at 6 weeks while I was thinking I was 8.5 weeks.; also on Tuesday we ran blood test to check my HcG levels. Today I had my second blood work done to find out that my HcG levels (hormones) are descending. The baby has now been dead for 3 weeks as of today. It's little heart never started beating. I am dealing with a lot of pain both in my heart and physically.

It is amazing how much you can love and care for something you hadn't ever met. All of the pain will soon be over hopefully in a few days. I believe that Keith and I are ready for it to all be over and life to go back to what it was before all of this happened. Here is what I remember from friends in the past:

One friend said this with their recent miscarriage: It was never ours, God never gave it to us.
Thought: Realizing and thinking about this, has made me thankful that this baby never has to face this cold and crazy world. The other great thing, it has made it to Heaven before me.

Another friend said this: When loosing our baby we were angry wondering why it happened to us. But now we realize that we would not have had our boy if the other baby made it.
Thought: this is not the end for us. We have all intentions of continuing in family planning. I will some day be able to say that our other baby would not be here if this baby made it.

I do know this, Life is crazy and uncontrollable. I just want all of this to be over with quickly. One moment all is fine and I look up to the positive side of it. Another moment I am crying wondering why this happened to us. I know that God has a plan for our life and we are ready to move on to what is in his will.

Exciting stuff in the Deckard houshold

Well as many know by now, we are expecting our first baby. It is joyous, scary, nerving, and pleasing. When we found out that we were pregnant, I believe that it took both of us by surprise. It is not that we were not trying, but we were also not not trying. After about a week I believe that we have warmed up to the idea that we are going to be parents of something precious (if that is possible coming from two crazies as ourselves). Here is the scary thing for me, I know I am not suppose to, but I feel nothing right now and that scares me. I know that when we have our first OB/GYN appointment then it will ease my mind a lot.
It has been interesting to see the reactions as friends and family find out. I brought in cupcakes with little teddy bears on them for my staff to guess the good news. They were all very excited to hear the news and be a part of it. The children of course found out because they did not get a cupcake but their teachers did. I have about 3 children in my 3 year old classes that think there are two babies in my belly. One child thinks that I have a Grace in my belly like her mommy does. The other children try to feel it, of course there is not much there right now.
The Kindergarten students gave a look to die for.
It is crazy to think that there is something inside of my growing and causing all of these changes with my body.
No morning sickness yet, of course I am sleeping more than usual.
Please pray with us that we have a healthy pregnancy and baby in November!

My week....

Sundays thought, I asked myself a few months ago, why is it that I close my eyes and raise my hands in praise during service. Here is what I have decided. First of all I am easily distracted, I think I am ADD, if I am sitting pass the 4th roll I might as well forget about trying to stay focused on service. Second, I find that this is my one time to truely just soak up the love of Jesus in my soul. I have found that closing my eyes and raising my hands has helped me to become one with God. It is interesting how much more I can get of Him if I close my eyes to rejoice. How do you become one with him?
MTWR- can we say CrAzY!!!
Friday- Loving Friday! A lot of great things happened today. First thing is it is Friday! Had a wonderful day with my students. Loving my husband more and more as we step into the next step of life. Excited about staying up until like 11 and sleeping in until like 11:) Life is great!!!

And your week?

Come On in Boys the Water is fine....

Today was an awesome service. This is the week that we have been worked up for. 15 people dedicated themselves to the Lord through baptism. Here is the cool thing: Over half of those people were our teens. Each week we get together and talk about different things, wondering if it ever sinks in with the teens. Right now we are doing a series on Sex and Dating. The response that we has came from the teens has just been great. These are things that they really deal with, struggle with, and need to talk about.

As I sat there today watching these teens show their dedication through baptism, I realized a few things.
1.) That I was baptised twice in my lifetime, both times feeling like I had shed 100's of pounds.
2.) These teens really want to dedicate themselves for the Jesus
3.) Not every person here has had the best life and childhood.
4.) We were repeating this oath of accepting someone into priesthood, that they would understand the Crucifixion.
Here is the number one thing that I saw. I watched as one person stepped up to the baptismal, I saw their life as I have seen flash through my mind. It is a miracle that I was able to witness such an awesome thing.

The awesome thing? Is that God was always there, that he knows what we are thinking and doing, not only that but never leaves us even though we might leave him.

I heard one person say this today in their testimony and thought how true: I know that I will still struggle, but the great thing is that Jesus will be there with me, I will not be alone. Take that statement in.

My baptism: I was first baptised when I was in Kindergarten, I remember leaving and then catching Pneumonia.
I remember the 2nd one very well. I had a hard few years, making poor choices, thinking how could God love me, Didn't feel worthy of his presence, had lost all hope in church. I then gave my life to Christ in my pastors living room. A few months later, I was baptised by the Blood of Jesus Christ. Just like in the movie Oh Brother Where Art Thou, one guy says All my sins are washed away.

I stand here to say that I am going to fail in my life, I am not always going to make the right choices, but as I sat there today watching the 15 people, I remembered the hope that I felt that day. Today I have the Joy of Jesus in my heart.

Here is the song that was sung afterwards, sing it with me:

Everyone needs compassion,Love that's never failing;Let mercy fall on me.Everyone needs forgiveness,The kindness of a Saviour;The Hope of nations.Saviour, He can move the mountains,My God is Mighty to save,He is Mighty to save.Forever, Author of salvation,He rose and conquered the grave,Jesus conquered the grave.So take me as You find me,All my fears and failures,Fill my life again.I give my life to follow Everything I believe in,Now I surrender.My Saviour, He can move the mountains,My God is Mighty to save,He is Mighty to save.Forever, Author of salvation,He rose and conquered the grave,Jesus conquered the grave. Shine your light and let the whole world see,We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

Along The Way of God's Will...

34 hours already this week with a day and a half left to go. Through all of the craziness of this week I began to really doubt my ability to fulfill my duties of my job. Here is what my husband helped me to realize, that I am God's will. You see 8 years ago I got a Mustang GT Convertible yellow with a white top and leather interior. I began to work at my dads gas station, Keith came over to check out my car. Ended up falling in love and went to Olivet for four and a half years. Did an internship with Kiddie Kollege my senior year. Graduated, began as Director's assistant. The Director left and I became interim for a year. September 2008 I was offered to take on the duties of Kiddie Kollege Director, which brings me to today. The Lord was in me the whole time and although sometimes I feel like I am deep in water, somehow he always comes through for me. Realizing this yesterday, I began to think what it was at Kiddie Kollege that is keeping me. Here it is:
Kiddie Kollege is the BEST Preschool in Lafayette! I have been blessed with amazing families. The best part of my job is this, the children. I lay in bed last night thinking about all of my names the children call me: Ms. Kimber, Ms. Timber, Principal, Boss, teacher, Director, lunch lady. I love walking into the room and feeling the love of children for me. It is an instant reward and reminder of what I am here for.
I love my leg hugging, snotty nose, attention seeking, accomplishing, goal oriented children so much and realize that is why God has placed me here.
Thank you Keith for scolding and opening my eyes, and thank you God for never failing me.

Can we say is it Friday yet!?!?! How Does God reveal himself to you?