I have really been reflecting on this pregnancy a lot lately. Tuesday night, I slept the entire night waking up at 7:15 realizing it was probably time to go the bathroom. Of course, since I didn't wake up for a restroom break through out the night, I begin to have fears of the pregnancy. My first thought is, I'm not pregnant she didn't push on my bladder. So as I sat here all morning just waiting for our baby to move, giving me relief. When she started she didn't stop:).
I remember at the beginning of my pregnancy sitting in Sunday School and saying I just want to feel her move and know everything is okay. Someone had said to me, "you are going to be one of those women who love every little movement". Yes, yes, I will be.
Last night my husband had me listen to a Rob Bell sermon about God's timing. There was a couple who gave their testimony of miscarriages and finally having a successful pregnancy. The lady talked about how every little movement was a blessing, how worried she was about something going wrong.
I was/am so that person. This whole pregnancy has brought on many emotions. In the beginning we were worried about sharing our joy of being pregnant, with the fear that we would lose this baby too. Then hearing that heartbeat for the first time was one of the best days of our lives. In December we found out that I have placenta previa, which as long as the baby was okay, so were we. Later in December being rushed to the hospital and realizing that we were not out of the tunnel yet, was a hard thing to accept. Each Wednesday marks another week of a healthy pregnancy.
I am that crazy person who chuckles at a little tickle in my belly, cries at a kick I have longed to feel, and filled with joy for every movement that my husband can experience with me.
I am so ready for April to be here, so that we can have our bundle of joy safe in our arms. She will truly be a blessing like no other, a miracle in our eyes.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
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