Am I faithful enough for Him?

This morning I woke up not feeling well. I decided to sit for a while in silence, anyone that knows me knows I hate silence. Interesting what God can do in a few moments of silence. I sat here wondering why I was choosing this morning to sit in silence, missing all my morning news and talk shows. Then I began to think about Lint and the meaning of it. I began to think about the many scarifies that God made for ME. Then I began to think back to a few months ago in the prayer room at spiritual retreat where I began to make many promises to God and laying it all in his hands. As I sat there that day drawing a picture of Keith and I with our baby at the foot of the cross, I made a promise that I would hand over my marriage, pregnancy, and family to God, giving Him full control. Who knew that the next weekend our baby's life would be put in danger and that I would be placed on bed rest? I also recall trying to pick up the pieces and take things into my own hands since God wasn't doing it the way I wanted. I remember getting angry at God because he let me down! It was His fault that I was hoping for another week to go by so our baby had a better chance of living!

Quickly, I was reminded that He still had control of the situation, he hasn't let me down yet, it's not His fault.

So as I am reminded today of that night in the prayer room when I gave it all to Him, I am also reminded that he never gives up on me. There was one song that I listened to that night, called This is our God. That song has more meaning in it than could ever be explained. The line that sits heavy in my heart today is He brings glory to the humble and crown to the faithful. I am left with the question Am I faithful enough for that crown?