Blessed Be Your Name

So this week I have had both good and bad moments with the loss of the baby. It is weird that for 2 months that is all that I thought about, there was a new excitement in our lives. Quickly it is taken away with a blink of an eye. We have been so blessed to have all of our friends and brothers and sisters in Christ just praying for our recovery.

We are excited about getting started as soon as the doctor gives us the clear, after all we were both so psyched about this last baby. :) Tomorrow is the follow-up appointment with our doctor. I am assuming this will be a time for questions as well as a time to make sure the miscarriage was successful naturally.

I said all of that to get here. Saturday my mom surprised me from North Carolina. So her and I went to church yesterday. I was looking forward to this service all week and then when I woke up Sunday morning realizing once again this is going to be akward because she does not go to church. But as the service started I decided that I would not change my ways of praise to suit the situation. As we were singing, my mind was on this miscarriage and I realized this, that for the past week I have had this mask on that everything is okay and that there will be another chance. However as we sung Blessed Be Your Name, I realized how much hurt is inside and I don't totally understand why God choose to take our baby away. There are many people who have babies everyday and don't want theirs. Here we are trying and excited about being blessed and it is all stripped away.

Here are the lyrics:
Blessed be Your name In the land that is plentiful Where Your streams of abundance flow Blessed be Your name And blessed be Your name When I'm found in the desert place Though I walk through the wilderness Blessed be your name
CHORUS: Every blessing You pour out I'll Turn back to praise And when the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name When the sun's shining down on me When the world's "all as it should be" Blessed be You name And blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering Though there's pain in the offering Blessed be Your name
CHORUS
You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name I will bless Your name
CHORUS
Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name

We do know that this is a season and one day we will use this minister to someone. But right now it hurts. Where there were once three there are now two.

Through it all though help me Lord to remember: Blessed be the name of the Lord!