What happened to us?

About 8 years ago is when it all begun. My family began to fall apart, crumbling like coral. I left for college January of `03 driving my bright yellow 2001 Mustang GT convertible, having a dorm room full of luxury, not knowing what no meant. I guess I can admit, although I hate to, that I was VERY spoiled. I like to think of it as being fortunate. I went back for my high school senior prom that year to find out that my family was separating. My sophomore year of college my world came crumbling down even more. I had doctor bills that I found out my insurance didn't cover, my car was being repossessed, my checking account had been frozen by the IRS. All of this to find out that my father was loosing everything that he had. My mom bought me a car, I began making payment arrangements with the hospital, and let my checking account go (The IRS took all but 12 cents from my account, I receive a bank notice every month reminding me), and began to look for a job.
After all of this happened it seemed like we were on a muddy slope and there was no chance for things to get better.
About 6 years ago I began to separate myself from my family, I think I finally realized how "un-normal" we really were. I don't know if this has hurt me or helped me. I do know that I have become stronger from having an "un-normal" family.
Today Keith and I live 2.5 hours away from my family. My father is a truck driver and I haven't seen in 2.5 months. My mother lives 13 hours away in NC, this has nothing to do with the craziness, just thought I would add her in. My step mom pulled herself away from me the day of the wedding, not really sure of the reason. My little sister has seen and knows more than any 10.5 year old should know. My sister with cerebral palsy has been led down so many wrong paths by her caregivers, she has not had good influences. My oldest sister and best friend, might be one of the "normal" ones in the family with her husband and four kids. I recently spent a few days with her and it was amazing...we wait WAY too long to get together, it was great catching up with her and feeling her love. I have 4 step siblings....the oldest has 3 kids and I recently found out that she has left one of their dads to care for them and she left with her own father. The other one, Misty, I grew up with, was a close friend of mine before becoming my sister, she might be the only other "normal" one. She has 3 kids of her own and is definitely a soccer mom. Then there is "Boo" aka Victoria, I remember dressing her up and pretending to play house with her. Now I hear how poor choices has ruined her, I just want to love her and hug every breath out of her. Then there is the youngest my step brother, whom just graduated from high school this month. Though he made poor choices he finished school and hopefully is on the right track now.
I worry about my family all the time. I don't talk about them much, people wouldn't understand if I did. We are broken and yet how did we get here? How did we drive each other so far apart? We were so close at one time, we were like gorilla glue. A bond so tight it was untouchable, so I thought.
I am wondering how I am going to explain this all to Londyn some day. I don't want her to know many things, some things are better left unsaid.

Lord give me the strength to raise my child in your church and under your wing. Help me to know what to say to her some day and how to explain things to her. Amen