One word to describe me this week is emotional basket case, borderline depressed. This was my first week back to work. I knew this day was coming, I even worked it out so I can work half days for two weeks. I honestly don't have a good reason for feeling so anxious about leaving my sweet Londyn.
Here are my reasons: What if she thinks I have abandoned her? What if she gets so upset and no one can calm her down? What if I miss her roll, first steps, or even her sitting up? What if she forgets who I am? All of these things race through my mind every morning.
I somewhat have to laugh at myself. I always tell parents when They drop their children off at Kiddie Kollege, "They will be fine as soon as you leave". Why cannot I not chew my own words? It's not even Londyn who is upset, she is perfectly content. It's all me.
I know that she is in great hands with Heather and little Luke, I also know that she is mine at the end of the day. This is all good for her social growth too.
I guess I never realized how hard it would be to leave my baby. I am honestly counting down the months till she is able to attend Kiddie Kollege. Yes, I will still be leaving her, but I will see her in the halls, I can give her a little hug anytime of the day.
I know that God will take care of Londyn and I. I hear it gets easier, we will see about that.
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